Jess. 24. My life reads like a soap opera sometimes. I am burdened with glorious sarcastic tendencies that usually end up getting me in trouble.

wandaventham:

i just realized that fucking ross geller got tenure in the field of paleontology at, like, age 30? and must’ve been hired at that tenure track position in his mid-20s? how was he so young? how old was he when he got his PhD? did he just… get a job after graduating without even doing a postdoc? is this what the 90s were like? fuck the 90s. fuck ross geller. fuck the way rachel got that coffee shop job with no experience.


thegirlwithgoldeyes:

imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread

later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”


seriousjones:

*walks out of the movie theater and it’s still daytime* what the fuck


marxvx:

when people say that raising the minimum wage will hurt workers because of layoffs or inflation they’re really just admiting that capitalism is structurally unable to provide an adequate standard of living for the working class


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trzynastyksiezyc:

talkdowntowhitepeople:

idk why introverts have a reputation of being quiet and shy people who’d rather be alone. have you ever been friends with an introvert who’s decided you’re worth their time? we turn into the clingiest, most needy pieces of shit on the planet because there’s so few people we actually can stand

That’s exactly what all the people should know. 


heisenbabe:

i want to sleep for 2 years and wake up with a degree, an apartment and money in the bank.


htgawm pilot: poc main characters?

me: f yeah

htgaym pilot: gay sex:

me: fuck yeah

htgawm pilot: sexy grown-up Dean Thomas?

me: fucking hell yeah

htgawm pilot: only two straight white male characters?

me: FUCKING YES HELL YEAH

htgawm pilot: Viola Mother Fucking Davis

me: FUCKING ALRIGHT I'M ON BOARD CHOO-CHOO I'M ON THE MURDER TRAIN.


homestuckorbust:

helianthi:

What did the pirate say when he turned 80

Aye matey

GO TO HELL THAT WAS CLEVER


combeferret:

yo but this says so much about rape when a woman would literally rather be around a murderer than a rapist



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